Take a look-see at Part 1, right the hell here, and dive on into Part 2. NOW:
We're right inside the Craftsman living room, where Brenda, in a gorgeous dress-and-hairdo combo, sits on the couch and watches TV. The doorbell rings because, along with Cindy and her constant phone-answering, that's all that ever happens on this show.
She peeks out the window, smiles, then opens the door adorably with a sunny, "Bonjour, travelers!"
Donna and Kelly stand on the porch, and following Brenda's greeting, Donna bursts into tears. I would take both of their dresses behind a middle school and get them pregnant; their VERY 1992 hairstyles, which I unsuccessfully attempted to replicate dozens of times as a thoroughly unfashionable preteen with only a bottle of Rave hairspray to her name? Not at all. Also: Tori was so good at this stuff in the early days. A true underrated comedienne many times during the first four seasons. Anyway, Kelly explains to Brenda that Felice is still making Donna go to Paris, even after Kelly's abandonment of the trip. Of course Our Felice is. Of course. Probably so she can have the Manor to herself for some farewell dicking-down from the middest man who ever lived. You're not giving up a guy that beige without a fight and one last au revoir with his undoubtedly disappointing dong.
Brenda brings the girls mugs of something, Donna saying, "I'm not blaming Kelly; I just wish she would've blown off the trip while my mom still could've gotten her deposit back," and then, turning to Kelly: "I think it's great that you're bonding with this new life force, but are you telling me this has nothing to do with Jake?" Really gonna need the hat tips to Joke to cease entirely up in this bitch. That predator is West Hollywood's and its citizens' problem now. Go clumsily slobber all over someone else's face and be gone. Forever.
Donna moans that she can't do a whole summer in Paris by herself, and Brenda tells her that she'll make friends, then whips out her fluent French that's never been mentioned and purrs, "La ville de la lumiere. La ville des jolies poules." Google tells me this translates to, "The city of light. The city of pretty chickens," and because I'm both extremely dumb and extremely lazy, I will choose to believe this. They continue to discuss Donna's Paris-aversion, Donna jokingly asking Brenda, "So, what are you doing after tomorrow?" Brenda's all, "Oh, yeah, right. I'll be a stowaway in one of your suitcases...since I'm not talking to my parents, it'd be kinda hard to hit them up for the money to send me there."
Kelly, a mere 20 minutes away from the first hints of the start of her clandestine affair with Dylan - which, mind you, begin 20 SECONDS after Brenda boards the airport shuttle, like, she's not even out of the fucking parking lot WHAT IN THE ACTUAL - adds, "Plus, you'd have to leave Dylan." Donna whines, "What about me? I'm leaving David!" and Kelly speaks for us all, telling her, "Oh, this is different. Because David is a non-entity and on the cusp of bringing us whatever is the opposite of Song of the Summer. He should literally be taken out to sea and Big Pussy Style clipped after subjecting innocent eardrums to his non-talent and complete absence of shame. Brenda and Dylan are living together. They're making a statement. A beautiful statement." She asks Brenda how it's going.
Brenda, tightly smiling through ALL the lies: "It couldn't be better."
