Saturday, June 21, 2014

Season 2; Episode 6 - Pass, Not Pass: I Will Pass On Everything In This Episode Except For The Beatdown Brenda's Right Palm Puts On AHHHHHHHHNdrea's Left Cheek.

In which BRENDA SLAPS AHHHHHHHHHNDREA.  That's all you need to know.  Let's dance.

We open at the House Of Walsh.

Inside Brenda's room, AHHHHHNdrea's being the grade-grubbing dork we've all come to know and detest and pestering Brenda about choosing a scene to act out for their final in Garg's drama class.  Brenda wants to do Annie Hall because she looks good in hats:

Which: no comment.  But Doll Brenda my boyfriend bought me came with a bunch of accessories and here's what she looks like with a hat on:

Again: no comment.  And yes: Doll Brenda came with a stand that rides up her genitals and has "BRENDA WALSH" emblazoned across the bottom of it.  What I'm trying to say is that Doll Brenda is just as fabulous as Real Brenda.  Moving along.

So AHHHHHHHNdrea, in another top the wardrobe department picked up at Limited Too, advises Brenda, "You're Mr. Suitor's pet.  I have never performed in this class before, I have to do well in order to pass," leading to the conclusion that only Brenda, Donna and Big Dave have performed in the class? I guess? Garg is doing the West Beverly Hills School District proud, I see.

So then Six LeMeure...I mean, Brenda, gets all excited because she thinks that because she's teacher's pet, Garg wants to do her.  Which is probably true.  But since he's a giant, molesting, statutory rapist perv, he probably wants to do all the girls in his class.  Including David.

And then AHHHHHNdrea gets her granny-panties in a twist and is all scandalized that Brenda apparently wants to date Garg (even though AHHHHHHNdrea will actually date, i.e. give a handy to, Garg, and continue to date [and marry] the Old & Inappropriate for the remainder of her time on the show), but much like Jackie with Mel, Brenda has apparently suffered a traumatic brain injury, seeing as she goes onto describe Garg thusly:  "He's creative.  He's articulate.  He's intelligent.  And he looks pretty good in faded jeans."  There's not enough vomit in my stomach or the world for me to forcefully eject out of my person after hearing that one.  So please.  Let's just move on.