Saturday, May 24, 2014

Season 2; Episode 5 - Play It Again, David: A Brain Exfoliation May Be Needed Following Sleaze-Coated Mel's Ensnarement Of Jackie And Her Hair Of ALL The Shame. Also: No One Cares About Brandon's Story Line. Just Like Always.

In which I kind of hate myself after writing this thing, given that I mercilessly poke fun at a character (a CHILD, no less) who is being beaten at home.  And has moles on his face.  I *might* be receiving my one-way ticket to the 7th Circle Of Hell following this one, you guys.  Let's just hope there's WiFi down there.  And alcohol.  And Seinfeld.  So anyway.  Let's rock.

So we start off at West Bev, with an exterior shot that's actually from the "Pilot" episode, seeing as  all of these extras who probably didn't earn their SAG cards with this showing are all looking up in the sky at Marianne's ridiculous airplane invite.

Inside, we see AHHHHHHHNdrea's clothed for some kind of Dress Like Your Hideous Mom Who's Stuck In 1983 Fashion Show? later in the episode? That's the only excuse for that Steve SAUNder'ed up, tail-fronted atrocity she's sporting.  Brenda, meanwhile, is wearing a dress that I would repeatedly make sweet, sweet love to.  ANYhow, as if anyone in creation cares, AHHHHNdrea's moaning about being humiliated.  No, not on just a daily basis because of how she dresses and her general demeanor, but about making a fool of herself for having to imitate a duck in front of their drama class and of course, Garg.

Donna looks rather adorable as well.  Or would look adorable if her skirt managed to clear her labia.  FUUUUUUUCK, Brenda's dress though.  Also: HAIR.  Anyway, AHHHHHHHNdrea's yammering on about something I don't care about because AHHHHHHNdrea.

And then here comes Kelly, Belly-Baring Bitch-Face.  She's arrived at school to take Brenda to lunch at the club with Jackie.  I pray that Jackie has fallen off the sobriety wagon and will be in Jerry Rattinger's cokey cabana, deviating her septum and wearing something similar to this elegant and tasteful ensem:

Nothin' screams "Coke Whore" more than a fringed pubic mound.

So Kelly's all ooked out about being in school during the summer and apparently is in a hurry to get to the beach to show off her odd, matching sports-bra-and-belt-looped-Umbros-looking getup.