Monday, November 17, 2014

Season 2; Episode 10 - Necessity Is A Mother: Actually, Necessity Is A Box Of Franzia Sunset Blush Wine (Chillable Red Will Do In A Pinch), Several Cats To Pet, And A Toned Pair Of Eyeballs For All The Rolling They'll Be Doing While Watching This Episode.

In which Iris McKay (the person, not just the name) finally blows onto our screens and even though she's an abandoning, derelict, neglectful garbage person parent, you can't help but be sort-of charmed by her hippie-dippy, Cocker Spaniel-haired Earth Mother routine.  (Mostly I love her because she's cunty to Kelly after she and Dylan start dating in Season 3.)  Also, anyone who can give Cindy enough peyote-laced wheat germ to do this:

And then THIS:

Is all right in my book.  Tuck in.

We open inside a pool hall.  Bluesy, Bo Diddley music plays in the background.  You should get used to it, because it will play approximately 1,357 times this episode, always to let us know that we're in this billiards hall which is undoubtedly on the wrong side of the tracks and that all the people you see here are criminals and lowlifes.

We roll by several pool tables with loads of trashy randos who've given up on life standing around them.

We eventually wind up at YOU GUESSED IT Resident Beverly Hills Bad Boy Dylan McKay's table.  I'm pretty certain he was allowed in the pool hall given that he looks 29 here.

The Consummate Poor Little Rich Boy tosses his pool cue onto the table and walks away, like the rude, self-entitled little twat that he is.

He walks up to this guy at the register and gives him the rack of his balls.  I am 12, due to the fact that the term "rack of his balls" makes me chuckle.  Counter Guy asks, "Takin' off already?" and Dylan's all, "Yeah, I gotta get home.  Dinner with Mom."  Counter Guys goes from "Weirdly Dressed Guest Relations Person" to "All The Way Terrifying Serial Killer Whose Crawl Space Should Probably Be Exhumed" when he says, "Yeah, I had a mother once." Soooooo...he's a murderer, right? Like no doubt in anyone's mind? Okay, cool - glad to see we're all on the same page.

Counter Guy keeps randomly laughing like the fucking mental patient and sociopathic life-ender he is and tells Dylan, "You know, McKay, you're about the last guy who would ever struck me as bein' a mama's boy," which prompts Dylan to look at him like this (i.e. with a mixture of fear and...fear) and then slowly back away from the counter and out of the pool hall.