Acquaint yourself with Parts 1 and 2 here and here, respectively. And now: prepare to be sickened. Moreso, I mean.
At the Beach Club, Brandon and Brooke and her Kelly Kapowski-coded dress walk along. She asks, "So what should I wear to dinner tonight? Casual, dressy? Whips and chains?" What an absolute caution this one is.
Brandon insists she doesn't have to do it, "it" being dinner with the Parents' Walsh. Brooke, as egomaniacal as Brandon, flings an arm around his neck and assures him, "Don't worry. Parents always love me." Cindy will probably love Brooke because she will mistake her for her similarly-maned bestie Jackie Taylor.
Brandon explains that he'll be late picking her up: "Remember that homeless guy we saw on the beach yesterday? I got him a job interview with Henry."
Brooke leans up against a wooden post and asks with obvious revulsion in her voice, "Well, what makes you think he wants a job?" This is when, if I were Brandon, I would've given Brooke the ol' heave-ho; however, he's much more measured than I, so he simply informs her, "Because he told me he did."
At that, Brooke makes a face...
...and Brandon's all, "What?"...
...and she, a seemingly very privileged person from a wealthy little coastal area of Los Angeles called Palos Verdes Estates, schools Brandon on all of her much-researched and vetted expertise about the unhoused: "Guys like that are hustlers. They'll say anything to get enough spare change so they can go out and get another jug of wine." Brooke has a bright, fear-mongering future ahead of her as a co-host of Fox & Friends Weekend. She certainly already has the hairdo for it.
Brandon insists Jack's not like that, and, contrary to Brooke thinking he wants to save the world, "I'm just tryin' to help out one guy who's had a run of bad luck."
As she steps toward him and puts her arms around his neck, she calls him "idealistic" and queries, "Who knew you'd turn out to be such a soft touch?" That sounds...filthy.
They kiss and their lip-smacking and the popping saliva molecules can be heard from space, where no sound is supposed to be able to be heard, but in this case it's made a disgusting exception.
After they pull away, I take back every nice-ish thought I've had about Brandon trying to help Jack out when he proclaims, "Didn't anyone tell you? I'm the nicest guy in America." Farewell, sweet prince. I fucking loathe you once more.
Whatever, before she bounces she tells him, "Watch your wallet." I tell her, "Watch your hairstylist the next time you go into the salon when you ask for the 'Demi Moore in Ghost' and they instead give you the 'Season 2 Zack Morris but With Bangs'."
