It's been a beat. Lots going on; none of it good. So let's not waste a minute more in the hellscape that is our current reality and instead dive on into the only distraction I have left in my life: an overly-wordy rehash of a very old television show about a bunch of 27-year-old 17-year-olds. Come along as I do my worst.
So even though we all live in the world and know what we're about to witness is a dumb dream, we're meant to believe we're still in Paris...
...uh huh...
...once more with feeling: Paris.
We wind up here in a park, Brenda - a VISION in this white halter dress - walking on a bench while holding Rick's paw as he strolls alongside her on the grass. She tells him, "Here I was, feeling guilty for deceiving you when you knew all along I wasn't French."
Rick pretends that he's not a total nitwit (spoiler: he 100% is) and that he wasn't completely bamboozled by her horrifying accent work in the previous episode and lies, "Well, maybe not all along. But the truth is, I'm really glad you turned out to be a red-blooded American girl." Oh, we know, Dean Cain. We fucking know, you pile.
They stop and he literally lifts her person from the bench and sets her on the ground before him, something I'm pretty sure I thought was "hot stuff" at 12-years-old but now find to be the height of infantilizing and squicky.
He asks, "You don't regret missing your plane, and stayin' here with me in Europe?"...
...and instead of telling the truth - "Oh, no, I totally do!" - Brenda says, "No, not at all. I really think I'm falling in love with you, Dylan."
The realization of what just happened takes a moment to dawn on Rick - given that the inside of his brain probably looks like this - but he eventually furrows his brow as Frantic Synth comes in...
...and Brenda, realizing her gaffe, quickly tries to course-correct with a stuttered, "I mean, Rick"...
...and then we're immediately inside the U-S-of-A-bound plane, with Brenda snapping-to from her really boring dream (strolling with the incel-adjacent, stupor-inducing Rick in a park? Talk about a drag). She sighs and takes off her headphones, making a mental note to never fall asleep again.
The camera pans over to Donna seated next to her, expositing for Brenda and the audience, "We're almost in New York. Can you believe it?" Brenda says that she can't and, "I miss Paris already." Donna concurs but apparently longed for the feeling of her boyfriend's persistent semi-upright chub pressed against her thigh more, because she adds, "I can't wait to see David."
And then OOPSIE POOPSIE Brenda just can't help herself and declares, "I know what you mean. I can't wait to see Rick."
They exchange A Look and sort of giggle and I really won't be happy until "Rebel with a Cause" when Rick is given the ol' heave-au revoir and relegated to but a distant and dull short-term memory.
