In which FUUUUUUUUUUCK remember when television shows aired like, 75 episodes per season (reality: 25-28)? I realize that the first couple of 90210 seasons were longer because of the Summer Episodes, but Jesus Christ. I am so ready for Season 3, even though it includes My Least Favorite Story Line In The History Of Television.
We open with some horrible rockabilly-adjacent music (which is almost certainly some ass-track they had to replace whatever originally played here for the DVDs) playing as we see a bunch of Old Timey pictures, the first of which is the HOLLYWOODLAND sign...
...then Grauman's Chinese Theater...
...then this one, which is a picture of the set from the Babylon sequence of the 1916 silent film
Intolerance. (The
Hollywood and Highland Center, which is directly to the east of Grauman's, has a three-story courtyard which was inspired by this scene. Do you care? No? Just me? Okay.)...
...an autographed photo of Walt Disney...
...a black-and-white of Don Drysdale...
...the Capitol Records building...
...the inside of the Peach Pit in the Olden Days, and then over to Season 1 Peach Pit? I guess? I am already so bored.
We finally pan down to Worthless Nat, who's been Sad Sackily (and Worthlessly) gazing upon all of these photos. We hear a ruckus in the background...
...which turns out to be Brandon, Steve and Dylan playing air hockey of sorts with saucers and coffee mugs on the counter top. Because they are entitled rich assholes.
Willie! arrives and says nothing, because Willie's basically a mute until Season 5.
Brandon "wins" or whatever and hops over the counter like a completely unsanitary boor.
He and Dylan do some ludicrous bro-clap...
...and then he reaches down to grab the saucer that wound up on the filthy fucking floor, but Nat gets there first and snips, "Why don't you and your 'fans' stomp on my dishes next time? That way they'll be sure to get broken?" Brandon apologizes, even though he really doesn't mean it, and then Nat gets his cunt on some more and gripes about Brandon doing some work for once in his goddamn life.
After Nat heads to the back room, Steve's all, "The Peach Pit. L.A.'s newest fun spot." Oh, go buy yourself another silken blouse from Casual Corner and choke on it, you curly-headed stye.
Later, Brandon comes around the corner and into the back room of the Pit and runs into Willie, who says, "'Scuse me, Brandon," so I'm a liar.
Brandon then heads over to Nat, and they talk about mustard and what a little bitch Nat is being, and then Nat waxes regretful about remodeling the restaurant right before the recession hit, and hopefully also about all the free food he gives away on a daily basis.
And then because everything's always All About Brandon, he asks, "Should I start lookin' for another job?" Nat says no, that he'll probably have to get rid of Willie (who most certainly runs circles around Brandon) because he wants a raise after five years, which isn't asking for all that much. Brandon's all incredulous about Willie getting the boot, and Nat dramatics, "
I'm not made of money. Somethin's gotta give." Good thing you spent a bunch of scratch on karaoke equipment and then got rid of it in like, a week, in the previous episode. Nat is officially the savviest businessman I know.
