Last week was a much-needed breath of fresh air. This week is starting off on the completely wrong foot and I really need it to be last week again. Anyway, here's a final product about which I'm not exactly thrilled but I literally couldn't write about this fifteen minutes of television anymore ever again. So...enjoy?
Non-copyrighted slop plays us into a new day at West Bev.
Inside DJ Dave's Funky Fresh DJ booth, David quizzes Donna on SAT prep. After she passes on a question, they have a cute-ish moment wherein David teases her and pretends to be a game show host, telling her that she's won "a trip to study hall! Yay!" Really: it was cute. Or perhaps I forgot to turn off the gas after removing my head from the oven again.
They both gaze out the booth window and spot Brenda and Kelly against a locker bank, seemingly bickering, and Donna observes, "Look, they're at it again."
Out to the hallway we go: Brenda attempts to garner some consolation from Kelly - "Can't you at least be sympathetic to what I'm going through? I mean, you sound disappointed that I wasn't grounded" - but Kelly, who has already hurt Brenda in innumerable ways that she's yet to discover, isn't having it: "All I'm saying is, I'm glad your parents caught you."
Brenda asks her to keep her voice down, but too late: Dylan comes slithering up to stick his sideburns in the mix with, "Nope, too late for that. What'd you do this time, Bren? Because I know I wasn't involved." I gotta say, the scenes with the three of them really skeeve me out on, like, a vascular level. And I know it's only going to get worse and worse and I just don't believe my fragile, perimenopausal emotional state can take it.
Brenda denies that there's anything going on, and Dylan makes it extra-squicky by teasing, "If you don't tell me, Kelly will." Brenda finally cops to Jim and Cindy finding her cigarette pack but lies, "They wouldn't believe they weren't mine." Dylan offers, "Well, Bren, that's because nonsmokers don't usually carry cigarettes." Brenda's bummed that her boyfriend (rightfully) doesn't believe her either, and Kelly throws in an old chestnut from her days of pulling her mother out of puddles of her own sick: "The only thing worse than having an addiction is denying that you have one." And how.
Brenda insists, "I quit, okay. Whether I was ever officially a smoker, I am now a nonsmoker, end of discussion," and then moves along quickly, turning to Dylan: "What I would really like to talk about is what time you're picking me up Saturday morning. We should really get there 20 minutes before the [SAT] starts."
Dylan informs her that he's actually skipping the SATs and visiting Jack at Folsom Prison or wherever instead, and that he'll catch the test the next time around. Brenda reminds him that he'll miss the college app deadlines; he doesn't seem to care; Brenda calls him frustrating; and Kelly feels the need to be the Pick-Me Girl of Dylan's dreams by scolding, "Brenda, it's not written in stone that everybody has to go right to college after they graduate high school." Talk to me a year from now when she's all rah-rah sis boom bah about higher education and sororities and frat guys and shitting on Dylan's lack of interest in anything collegiate. WHATEVER.
Dylan thanks Kelly (genuine)...
...Brenda thanks Kelly (sarcastically), then stalks off...
...leaving these idiots...
...to exchange yet another lusty look and I sure hope David and Donna caught that (they did not).
