Season 1; Ep. 6 - Higher Education: I Really Can't With This

In which Brandon...GOD, YOU GUYS. This one is The Worst, as far as Brandon's ABHORRENT behavior goes. Like, how anyone can even be in the same fucking city as this guy is beyond me. He's a cheater-cheater, pumpkin eater in this one, but manages to play the victim and blame everyone but himself. See? THE WORST. Oh: and Brenda and her bag-of-shit hair and Dylan FINALLY flirt it up and act adorable and SQUEEE! This is the Old Person's Old Timey version of that Twilight Abortion Of A Relationship. KICK IT. 

We start off at Not Famous Original Peach Pit. That sign is...tacky as fuck. GOD, NAT. What, do you live in The Valley or something???

SIGH. So Brandon's working...

...and studying. Which seems really professional. FIRE HIM, NAT. FIRE HIM NOW. 

Brandon spots Mr. Danzel, his history teacher, who gives the little puke this AWESOME look of indifference. 

Brandon is saddened because he was expecting Mr. D. to, like, eat his dick and tell him that he's The Best Student EVER. Sucks to be you, Minnesota. And way to attempt to talk yourself up to the guy, all "I'm like, totes great at history. I should be teaching the class instead of you, Old Timer." 

So then Brandon runs to tell on Mr. D. to Nat, who soothes Brandon's ego by telling him that Danzel, a regular, is an asshole or something. HA. The elderly are The Worst. Also: nice matching shirts, douches. 

AHAHAHAHA! Brandon gets a C on the weekly quiz, and has girl handwriting. And probably girl genitals. Shut up, Brandon. 

So he, in his MINT shirt and Indiana Jones vest is shocked, SHOCKED that he is not THE BEST. FYI, Brandon: YOU AREN'T THE BEST AT ANYTHING. INCLUDING WARDROBE AND ESPECIALLY PERSONALITY. The girl behind him is wearing the latest from Warren Jeffs' Couture line. 

Steve's wearing a recycled shirt from earlier in the season and is 41; Donna...doesn't look bad? Maybe? For the era? She *might* even look cute by today's standards if that jean jacket wasn't acid washed ass. 

Donna was a giant cunt the first season (instead of the "Guardian Angel" she's purported to be in later seasons, OVER AND FUCKING OVER) so she makes fun of Danzel's leisure suit. 

Brandon assily complains about the curve, and how BLAH BLAH SOUR GRAPES BLAH, SHUT UP, BRANDON. Everyone else in the class (and the universe) thinks he should shut up, too. 

Mr. D. basically tells him that he sucks a big, fat turd and to shut his pie hole. MARRY ME, MR. DANZEL!

So somehow (GEE, I WONDER HOW), Steve managed to get an A, which should immediately make you suspicious, since as we all know from subsequent seasons, Steve is a fucking nitwit. Donna strokes Steve off about his supposed genius, but then makes this very accurate observation about him to Brandon: 

"(Steve) is such a sub-mental when it comes to everything else. Oh, and he's also 41." 

So Dorkmeister Z comes out and rubs the fact that she got an A in Brandon's gross, smug face. You guys, this is one of very few episodes in which I like AHHHHHHHHNdrea, and wished that she would slug Brandon. With a bat. Repeatedly. 

So then, GEE, Brandon gets all defensive and shitty about grades not really meaning anything, whatever. Oh, and he calls AHHHHHHHHHNdrea Andrea. Like "Anne-drea." LIKE, WAY TO NOT STOP FILMING AND REDO THE SCENE WITH THE CORRECT PRONUNCIATION OF HER NAME, SHOW. 

Poor, poor Anne-drea. She offers to come over and study with Brandon that night. In her shoulder-padded t-shirt. She's far too nice with this tool. 

She heads upstairs to go to the bathroom to masturbate to the fact that she'll be in Brandon's bedroom that night, and passes...this. Oh, Dylan. NO. But I guess he's supposed to be all devil-may-care and rebellious, so he wears his overalls all Fresh Prince of Bel Air styleZ. Or like a girl, i.e. me in 6th grade. 

So Kelly in her Bacterial Vaginosis Jeans and Brenda with her bad hair (it's only going to get far, far fucking worse this episode) and Frump City cardigan and skirt...thing, are talking about Dylan. Then Kelly says something like: "What I would do to go out with Dylan McKay." UM, I think we KNOW what you would do to go out with Dylan McKay, hussy. Way to unintentionally foreshadow Kelly's Betrayal Of Brenda in a couple of seasons. 

So Dylan's all Still Hot at his locker, even in his Carhartt jacket...

...and Brenda's all "Dylan McKay's trouble" and Kelly is a cheese-dick and says something like "He can trouble me all he wants." Wow, you're so sexy and clever, Kelly. I hope you don't ever have to steal your best friend's boyfriend just to justify your existence. Also: I like Kelly's blazer. Seriously. Even with that odd broach on the lapel. 

So Kelly asks Dylan if he likes short or long hair better, and Brenda can't look at him because his jacket is gross and she likes him-likes him, and he says...

"I like blondes." Because Dylan's a moron.

Then he looks at Brenda like this, and asks if she's Brandon's sister. 

Brenda has an immediate orgasm and says that yes, UNFORTUNATELY, she is Brandon's sister. 

Then Kelly gets all jealous that another girl is getting Dylan's attention, and she begins to plot how she will get back at Brenda in a couple of years. Kelly fucking kicks rocks. And yes, I DO like that broach. 

Walsh House. Brenda's looking in the mirror and cursing her brown hair...edness? 

I feel like this scene is pretty accurate, given that I think a lot of girls and guys do this same kind of picking-apart-of-their-looks in the mirror. I know I did it a lot during my teen years. Then again, maybe Brenda and I are just narcissistic assholes. 

Cindy, with her Hair Of Ass, and maybe-okay shirt, comes into the room and observes Brenda messing with her hair, etc. 

And then, SWEET SHIT, THIS HAPPENS. Brenda, NO. Could the show not have found a better fucking wig? Like, I think the monstrosity-of-a-wig they use later in the episode is better than this dry, crunchy, brassy MESS. YIKES. 

Then Dylan apparates in all Harry Potter-style and tells Brenda that he likes blondes. Except for her blonde. Because what's on top of her head is just straight-up a bag of feces. 

And then Dylan turns into Cindy! And she very sweetly tells Brenda that she's beautiful. In only the way a mother can, in which you totally don't believe it because they're obligated to say stuff like that. 

So then my second least favorite person on the show (GUESS WHO'S FIRST) gets home and asks after Brenda and Cindy. 

Brenda's all, "My hair is horrible, and is about to get worse. Your hair is also horrible, Jay Sherman. As is Mom's, and Brandon's." It's all true, you guys. 

So Cindy tells Jim that Brandon's upstairs studying with AHHHHHHHNdrea. Jim gets all horndog at the thought of Brandon boning AHHHHHHNdrea in his room, as he did with Sheryl. At least these two foolios pronounce her goddamn name correctly. 

Cut to: Brandon's room, and AHHHHHHHHNdrea all snoopy and shit. 

Brandon's done pinching off a loaf, and they get back to studying.

Jim walks in, hoping to find AHHHHHHHNdrea all reverse cowgirl on Brandon's wang, but unfortunately just finds the two studying. 

Then he's all, "Oh, my son is GREAT at history. He'll totally be able to help you out. Girls are bad at history, as well as math, science, gym, home ec, and walking. I fucking suck!" 

Jim exits, Brandon quizzes AHHHHHHNdrea, she answers correctly, but Brandon thinks it's incorrect, and like, SCREAMS HER DOWN, because no one can be better than him at anything. NEWSFLASH, BRANDO: Everyone IS better than you, at EVERYTHING. ANYway, thankfully AHHHHHHHNdrea sticks up for herself and basically tells him to get bent. And die. And fuck right off. Which someone should tell Brandon at least once an episode. 

Brenda overhears all of this and comes in with this awesome look on her face and tells Brandon, "You suck and everyone hates you."

The World: "YES, YES WE DO."

Another quiz; another C. Brandon's stupid, you guys. 

AHHHHHHHHNdrea gets another A. And is still wearing her turquoise, shoulder-padded t-shirt??? I...don't know. She's from Out-Of-District and those people probably do all sorts of gross things like wear the same clothing multiple days in a row. 

So Brandon in his boys' department XS t-shirt, and Steve, in ANOTHER rerun from a previous episode, decide to study together, because Steve "The Brain" Sanders is smart 'n stuff, and very obviously a gigantic cheat.

So Brandon heads to Steve's in his running jersey, and tries to study while Steve suns his 41-year-old chest and talks about his parents being garbage people who've divorced each other a bunch and blah blah BAD PARENTS blah, NO ONE CARES. 

Steve and his near-albino-ness really need to stay out of the sun. 

NICE NECKLACE, GUIDO. ANYway, Brandon attempts to study out of the book, but Shady Sanders is all, "He's not going to ask that," and gives Brandon some rando information to go over to prepare for the quiz. MY GOD, IS THIS EPISODE ALMOST OVER YET? I AM READY FOR AWESOME COKED-UP JACKIE. 

Lo and behold, the quiz includes the question Shady Sanders told Brandon to study for. Nice font, Quiz. 

Brandon, in another boys' department XS t-shirt with like, howling wolves or a trout on it, smells deceit in the air. Also: THAT GIRL BEHIND BRANDON IS WEARING THE SAME FUCKING SISTER WIVES DRESS AS EARLIER IN THE EPISODE, WHICH, DUH, SHOW, WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ANOTHER DAY, RIGHT??? Maybe she's from Out-Of-District as well. 

Shady Sanders, in a SHOCKINGLY decent polo shirt, makes it totally obvious that he's cheating in some way, all shit-eating grin and cocky head swagger. DOUCHE. 

So Brandon has put his mad investigative journalistic skillZ to work and deduced that Steve is a cheat and a fraud and has horrible white jeans. 

Shady Sanders denies it, and the world thanks GOD that he didn't button his fucking polo up to his chin, as he will be so fond of doing in later episodes. 

AHHHHHHHHNdrea, in a purple shoulder-padded t-shirt, is actually back to talking to this shitbag, and complains about the left-field question on the quiz. Per his shitbaggedness, Brandon condescendingly tells her the answer and then saunters off. 

So then Brandon, in a different shirt from earlier in the day (IS it the same day???)...follows Steve home? And chases him into his house? And then waits in the foyer for Steve to change into his robe? And then follows him outside to FINALLY confront him, AGAIN, about his cheating? I hope both of these dweebs fall into the pool and someone closes the cover on them. 

Steve's Fuzzy Moobs confess that yes, he gets copies of the quizzes, because some fucking geriatric isn't going to stop him from getting into USC. I AM SO, SO, SO, SO, SO BORED. And just like the last Brandon-centered episode, this one feels seventeen hours long. ANYway, Steve basically convinces Spineless Brandon that Cheating Is Okay, As Long As It's Beneficial. Or some shit. 

The next day at school. 

Brenda: "My hair is ass. My shirt is ass. These jeans are giving me a yeast infection. But my face looks great." 

Kelly: "This cropped sweater is also ass. But my hair looks good."

Then Donna comes in after disembarking from the USS Good Ship Lollipop. And then the blonde, rich assholes tell Brenda to go get her hair done by some douche that cuts hair "intuitively" or by some other jerk who charges $300.00 for a color and cut. And they act like it ain't no thang. These broads are fucking monsters. 

Brenda and her Crimped Hair Of Doom want to head back to Minnesota, where a color and cut cost $10.00, PLUS you get a shampoo and a blow-dry. Oh, Middle America. You're so quaint. 

Donna: "I am going to be totally random and realize at this exact moment that I put both contacts on one eye."

Me: my thoughts exactly, Kelly. Shut up, Donna. 

BOOOOOORING. Nat filled up his own coffee cup, and tells Brandon to grow a pair and go wait on Mr. Danzel. Brandon, of course, doesn't want to because of his guilty conscience about cheating. NO ONE IN THE GODDAMN WORLD CARES. AT ALL. Oh, and Brandon calls him Mr. Denzel. Jason Priestley apparently has Pronunciation Dyslexia. 

Unfortunately, Mr. "Austin Powers" Danzel is all complimentary of the fucking wiener, telling him how great he is now that he's turned his history grade around. Then he takes his leave and heads back to Studio 54 for some coke and disco fever. 

AND THEN, he CONTINUES to praise the twerp the next day to the class, and Brandon's wearing the same damn shirt he was wearing at Steve's the day (the week?) before. WHAT FUCKING DAY IS IT? CONTINUITY MUCH, SHOW? 

Donna, still Season 1 Non-Virgin, wants to get in Brandon's Liar-Liar Pants (which are on fire, at the moment). And she also kicks it Open Credits Style. 

Poor AHHHHHHHHNdrea in her olive shoulder-padded t-shirt. She's all proud and shit and she's about to be so, so disappointed by Douche Brandon. As she will continue to be for several seasons to come. 

She approaches Brandon after class to congratulate him and inform him that she got a C on the latest quiz (AHHHHHHHNDREA ZUCKERMAN GOT A C??? I WON'T HEAR OF IT!). Let's do a little compare and contrast, shall we? You'll recall that earlier in the episode, Brandon got ALL SHITTY with AHHHHHHNdrea after he got a C on a quiz and she got an A; the tables are now turned, and AHHHHHHNdrea is being completely gracious and, I don't know, NICE and (undeservedly) complimenting Brandon on his turnaround. In conclusion: I FUCKING HATE BRANDON. HE IS THE WORST CHARACTER IN THE HISTORY OF TELEVISION, AND THAT INCLUDES ANYONE WHO'S EVER PLAYED A SERIAL KILLER. 

WORSE STILL, AHHHHHHHHNdrea asks Brandon if he'd like to try to study together again, and he blows her off. Because he is so, so awful, you guys. 

And AHHHHHHHHndrea makes this face and I feel very bad for her. Why she continued to have a crush on that fucking loser for so long is BEYOND ME. 

Back to this story line, THANK GOD X 1 MILLION INFINITIES. Kelly is all flirty Gerty...

...and attempting to plant the seed for their Betrayal Of Brenda during the Summer of Deception. Dylan (who is ALSO a pig-dog about cheating on Brenda in a couple of seasons, but we'll get to that many moons from now) looks SO cute here. His little smirky-smile gets me every time. 

As it gets to Brenda every time. Poor Brenda. She looks so sad here, all lonely in her Rerun Jacket and biker shorts. 

Later: she attempts to convince her mom that she (Brenda, although Cindy really should, too) should be allowed to change her hair. And it will then change her life. Or some shit. She wants a perm (BAD IDEA), or extensions or "maybe a great weave." WHAT THE FUCK? 

Cindy, in a shirt she borrowed from her shithead son: "I don't think so, Bren. I want your hair to be nearly as hideous as mine."

Brandon arrives home to study, and by "study," I of course mean "to make crib notes." 

Brenda: "I don't really know what I'm wearing. It's like a proto-Luke Skywalker Hoth outfit." 

"See?" 

"ANYway, who all is in your history class?"

"First, I'm going to make this dickish expression. Then, I'll dismissively tell you that Donna and AHHHHHHHHNdrea and Steve SAUNders are in the class. Like, I literally just said 'SAUNders,' like, HELLO, SHOW??? Can we have even an ounce of continuity here? Or maybe hire someone to help me pronounce things IN THE CORRECT FUCKING WAY???" 

Brandon goes to pick up his paycheck...

...and then Nat, unfortunately, plays into Brandon's put-upon, sad-sack mood and asks him what's wrong. I can answer that for him: NO ONE FUCKING CARES. AT ALL. 

So then Danzel comes in (he certainly eats at the Peach Pit a shit-ton, even though we will never see him after this episode. Because he probably died or something), and Brandon's all pissed off. Not at himself because HE cheated, OH, NO. 

He's mad at Danzel! OF COURSE. For not teaching all that well, and for not being goddamn Robin Williams in Dead Poets Society and standing on desks and making his students think. So he berates THE ELDERLY, in public, LOUDLY because HE, Sucky, Sucky Brandon, cheated. That pretty much sums up Brandon's personality in a nutshell. GO DIE. 

The Next Quiz. Brandon in his red Henley shirt is all shifty-eyed and distracted. Maybe it's because Sister Wife back there finally changed her clothes. She's also rocking the Steve SAUNders Special, with the shirt buttoned up to oblivion. 

Steve SAUNders, in the same fucking shirt from earlier in the episode, is, AGAIN, smirky-jerky about knowing all of the answers. 

Luckily, Mr. D. goes back to hating Brandon along with the rest of the world and lays the verbal smackdown him by telling him to get the fuck back to his test and to not be such a loser. Basically. 

AND THEN. Brandon's not even good at cheating!!!

WOW, DUDE. 

Awww. This should've been the moment when AHHHHHHHNdrea realized that Brandon Kicks Rocks And Doesn't Deserve Her Love. 

"I'm trying to think of a way to make this AHHHHHHHNdrea's fault. Don't worry. I'll get there. Too bad she's not black."

So of course he chases her down, and she's all, "talk to the hand" but he keeps at her because his cheating is her fault, DUH. 

She basically tells this barf-bag that he's lucky she doesn't turn him in and then she gets all kinds of teary-eyed because she still loves the fucking weasel, and it's actually pretty depressing. Brandon Walsh: Ruining Lives Since 1990. 

BBQ. Kelly's over because her mom's a coke whore. You'll see. And Jim's all praising Cheater Brandon for his awesome grades in Danzel's class, and then he disrespects Brenda some for not being Brandon. Also: Brenda borrowed AHHHHHHHNdrea's purple shoulder-padded t-shirt. 

Cindy, continuing to plot her Almost Affair, tells Jim to STEP THE FUCK OFF. GOD. SERIOUSLY. This is like a goddamn rerun of the tedious "One-On-One" episode, except with a history grade replacing Jim's delusional Hoop Dreams for Brandon. 

So then this is happening. Kelly has no clue what she's doing, but talks like she does. She also makes a really rude but accurate statement about Cindy's ghastly hair. 

Also: Kelly got her cardigan from County Seat. 

The next morning, this guy, who has ZERO room to talk...

...walks in on this. THIS. MY GOD. It's...thoughts. THOUGHTS THAT I CAN'T PUT INTO WORDS. But they're BAD thoughts. AWFUL ones. 

So then Jim in his mussed-up hair starts hounding Brandon about his grade again. SHUT. UP. JAY. SHERMAN. Cindy and her okay-shirt hate Jim with the fiery passion of a thousand suns. As does the world.

And then Brenda comes down to show her parents what fucking horrors she's put her hair through and Brandon's all condescending (WHAT'S NEW) and then she stabs him in the eye and walks out. 

So Brenda decides to go The Full Blossom to hide her hair...

...and then Brandon, in his fucking MOCK TURTLENECK, spots Danzel and continues to blame him for making Brandon cheat. Because that makes total sense. Knob. 

And then Dylan shows up all hot and normal in his simple white t-shirt, and Brandon is sad because he will never compare. Dylan informs Brandon that he had Danzel last year and that he (Danzel) is retiring this year, and Brandon, being the asshole we hate, says something like "all I'm learning how to do is cheat." REALLY? That's the only thing you've learned in the class? Eat shit, Mr. Blameless. 

Brenda then meets up with Kelly, who came to school straight from practice with the Dodgers, and -Donna, who looks surprisingly great in that purple blazer. 

They see her hair...

...and have these completely appropriate and hilarious reactions. Although Kelly's evil plan was probably to make Brenda look hideous (mission: accomplished) so that she could sink her labia into Dylan. 

Steve, in...this...with absurdly long sleeves, gets in Brandon's face about ignoring him (Steve) before. WHATEVER. Honestly, I think this episode was actually a miniseries. 

Brandon attempts to accost AHHHHHHHNdrea again, but she AWESOMELY shuts him down and does this. I wish she would've been holding a Taser, however. Or a pitchfork. 

History class. Which is apparently the only class they ever attend. Danzel makes a foolio out of Brandon, as someone should do every episode. Black Guy behind Brandon better look out - Brandon just LOVES to blame Black People. 

Okay. I'm even getting tired of this plot. BRING ON THE MOTORCYCLE FLIRTATION, SHOW. Basically, Cindy tells Brenda that she understands why she fucked up her hair, and she tried ironing her hair when she was a teenager and, you guys? Cindy is so wise. 

Steve comes to visit Brandon at the Pit, wearing...this. It's like a Looney Tunes jacket from Wilsons Leather.

He also wants to make certain Brandon's not going to rat him out. Brandon may be a filthy cheater, but he's no fink, Steve. 

Mr. SAUNders then offers up a copy of the midterm...RIGHT AS MR. DANZEL IS WALKING IN! RUH ROH! HIGH JINKS!

Another goddamn heart-to-heart between this ass-face...

...and Worthless Nat. 

Brandon leaves out of the Future Peach Pit After Dark's door and spies...

Mr. Danzel with a flat. Brandon goes to beat him with a tire iron. 

He, in his white trash jacket, is actually helpful for once in his goddamn existence, and changes the tire. Him and Mr. D. have some meaningful talk, and it actually gets pretty sad because Danzel gets teary-eyed at the mention of his dead wife, who picked out all of his hideous clothes for him before she passed.

I'm not a robot, you guys. It was actually pretty depressing.

Once again, Brandon can't do anything right, and drops the proffered-from-Steve midterm. Because he sucks AT LIFE. 

Danzel doesn't discover Brandon's dirty little secret, so they part, BFFs or some shit. WHATEVER, MR. DANZEL. 

OH, HEY! IT'S TIME FOR BRANDON TO EMOTIONALLY AND VERBALLY ABUSE AHHHHHHNDREA AGAIN.

See? HE'S A CHARMER, THAT ONE!!!

He basically SCREAMS AHHHHHHHNDREA DOWN, because, while she admits that she's thought about cheating (as has everyone in the entire world) she's never actually cheated. This ENRAGES Brandon, because...how dare she not cheat? And she just thinks she's soooooo much better than him because he cheated and she never has! Well...

Also: Brandon's favorite place to berate and humiliate others? The public library, of course! 

Brenda goes out for a run...in this. The sports bra isn't so bad but the shorts...I...THOUGHTS. Also: she's got Poor (Soon-To-Be) Dead Scott Scanlon's Lakers hat. Seriously: he must be dead already. 

Cindy, The Constant FUCKING Gardener, tells Brenda that she doesn't need the hat. Um, Cindy? YES, YES SHE DOES. 

So she's running in the beautiful greenery of Beverly Hills...

...and then this strange motorcycle drives by her...

...and then turns around all sexy-style...

...and Brenda's all self-conscious but adorably curious...

...to find out who this could possibly be...

...BOOM. YES. THANK YOU. And sorry for the build-up, but this is one of my favorite moments ever on this shit bag of a show. MOST of the Brenda/Dylan scenes are among my faves. And look at Dylan all kicking it Opening Credits Style. 

So Brenda, even with her atrocious hair, is all adorable and kind of nervous as they begin to flirt. 

I'M GOING TO PASS OUT. Dylan kindly offers to take Brenda to his friend, a hairstylist (?) who can fix her hair. 

Brenda's all dorky and excited, because DUH. 

So Dylan HOTLY gets back on his motorcycle, and Brenda, AGAIN ADORABLE, says "I like your butt. I mean, bike!" 

And then Dylan, ALSO ADORABLE, is like, "Hop on. My bike, that is." And so it begins...almost. Soon. In like three episodes. But still: progress!

UGH. Do we have to go back to THIS? ANYway, Brandon gets home from his Public Library Shaming Of AHHHHHHHHHNdrea, and Cindy's about to go clean some clothes on some rocks down by the creek. She was also going to give Jim a pre-Almost Affair handy with that lotion she's carrying, but Brandon ruined the mood. Because Brandon ruins EVERYTHING. 

Jim's still THE FUCKING WORST about grades and blah blah NOBODY CARES blah. 

So then Brenda awesomely fills Lame Brandon in on the fact that her and Dylan will be bumping uglies VERY soon. 

IN YOUR FACE, CRETIN. 

Brenda and Kelly and Donna (who you can't see, but JUST WAIT) laugh and laugh and laugh. Sadly, Brenda will learn that it's all fun and games until your best friend sinks her clitoris into your boyfriend when you're in Paris one summer. 

I...JUST CAN'T WITH THIS. GOD. AHHHHHHHNdrea...APOLOGIZES to Brandon. I...THOUGHTS. And this is when I went back to despising AHHHHHHHNdrea. 

They head into class and NO ONE CARES. NO ONE. AT ALL. 

Stupid Doormat AHHHHHHHNdrea wishes Brandon good luck on the midterm. 

Smug Brandon does not do the same. 

Okay. This is the best I could find of Donna's shirt. You will see that it's an off-the-shoulder, ACID-WASHED denim Ren-faire-ish deal. You can't see, however, that it basically stops just south of her nipples. I would ask if "we" dressed that way back in the day, but I know I didn't, and no one I knew did either, because GOOD GOD. NO. 

The midterm is handed out, and then Danzel tells everyone to pick it up and look at it...

...and then rip it up! WHUH??? Danzel is Robin Willams in DPS, all unconventional and shit. 

Danzel gives them some kind of essay question, a Thinking Man's Essay Question mind you, for them to answer. Steve is scared, because obviously. And oh, hey, Donna's Back! That shirt is a trashy pile of dog shit. 

Brandon, in his puke-yellow t-shirt, hands in his essay. And then proceeds to suck up as only a lame ass-kiss can. Where's AHHHHHHHNdrea? I'm surprised she didn't want to get in on this brown-nosing action.

ANYway, Danzel kind of-sort of-maybe lets on that he knew Brandon had a copy of the original midterm. WHAT THE WHAT? And Brandon's just going to get away with it???

YUP. 

And then Brandon swaggers out of class, knowing that he can get away with anything. Maybe even date rape. I wouldn't be surprised. I'm going to lie down with a cold compress after this doozy of an episode. THE END.

All images courtesy of bh90210.fanfusion.org, Google.